the remainder

Posted on June 11, 2012

3


you say you can’t go on like this, but i can’t go on, period
you say you can’t go on like this yet cut me to the quick
with disrespect
with contempt

if this is a test it is the cruelest and most inhumane punishment Man has ever devised

i gave in, i let go
you abused that freedom
now i am crushed and defeated how do i go on

i can’t exist any longer
yet how can i die when i am already dead?
i can’t live any longer
yet where can i go when there is nothing in either Heaven or Hell for me?
i am alive but how can this be when i am so numb
or, how can i be so numb and think that i live?

you are, or were, a part of me
i tried to set you free

i would excise you out of my heart, but that is not enough
you’re too much a part of me, so ingrained in me
to remove you from me would be to remove everything that i am

there would be nothing left of me without you
and if there is nothing left of me without you why should i exist?
and that wasn’t enough
so i removed a part of my soul
and i still felt you there
then i removed my skin but i still felt your touch
and i cut out my tongue but i still tasted you
and i cut off my nose and still recalled  your scent
then i remembered your smile and i cut out my eyes
and i remembered your laugh and cut off my ears
but i still remembered you
and without my senses i could still sense you
i could feel you, touch you, taste you, smell you, and hear you
so i cut out my brain but my heart still remembered you
all that is left is to remove my heart

but once that is done, what is left of me?

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